I'm gonna join Finally-Free here and slap you in the face a few times.

How is it going against everything in you to GET TESTED AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF?

You are attaching this horrible stigma to getting tested, and it's just plain ridiculous. Yes, we were good wives, but things happen, and you get tested. You are not a slut, dirty, or anything. You need to let go of the action of getting tested being against your identity and nature....this is dangerous turf here.

I agree with Finally Free....go get tested TOGETHER. Especially if you have had sex for 6 months. If you're reconciling, then do it together as a way of putting this behind you, of seeking knowledge as power, as taking care of BOTH of your health for yourselves, each other and your KIDS. Say "honey...this is not about the A, humiliation or what you did. I want us both to be healthy, and I think we need to not be stupid. I want to do this WITH you....it's not about being dirty, it's about being safe and empowered....I want us both to go together, I have scheduled an appoiintment for us both on XX date, will you go with me, please, it will mean so much."

Say it with love. I know you're mad, but you may have NOTHING. But, you're being awfully silly about all of this. You're using this to determine who is the "slut", how disillusioned that your H was in thinking she was clean...WHO CARES. The point is, it's DONE, and you MAY have something. Just go.

This topic is separate from DB, your reconciliation, MLC....just go and get it done.

I'm glad that you're doing it. I'm sorry if I have been harsh, I just care about you and want you to do this, and I was just really scared that you would not.

If you feel icky going to the Dr, and want to do this WITH H, then go to a clinic.

Call Planned Parenthood, or another health clinic and ask if they do STD testing. If you have health insurance, they cover it for sure. If so, then fix an appt (you should get one quickly), and go together. Get the full spectrum. Be done with it. They will call you with results in a week or so. It is purely confidential, and likely in a clinic setting, one that you have never been to, you will have the anonymity that you want, and I understand that. No one asks questions, you admit nothing to anyone...you just say you're both here for a test....that's it.

Frankly, I think it's a nice way to clear the path and start fresh together.

I'm proud of you. I know this is hard....just stay focused. Again, sorry if I was harsh, but I was scared you would not take care of your health.