Cat, I am saying this again, and I will until you get this through to your self.

GET TESTED. THIS IS NOT A GAME BETWEEN YOU AND H. THIS IS YOUR HEALTH.

It is amazing to me that you don't value your own health, and that you are being stubborn in the "what's fair" game. This WHOLE thing is not fair, where do we start? But stop being in denial about your health.

Ask yourself these questions:

1) Did you have sex with H during and/or after the A?

If YES...then GET TESTED. No questions, no whining, no arguments...

STILL you insist on scheduling him to get tested, that's fine, but you need to do it too. He is still in a funk and might be hedging on lying, the after effects of MLC. So are you gonna play games?

I feel you are using this like a test..."if he loves me, he will get tested and I won't have to...why should I get testing if I didn't screw around."

That's fine to feel that way, but no reason to be risky with your health.

You are not a teenager with no awareness or sense. You are a grown woman. Show yourself respect by getting tested. It doesn't mean you're a slut, or dirty to get tested....so please get over your hang-ups. You take care of yourself....start doing that in every aspect of your life and be a role model to your kids that way.

PLEASE, I am begging you.

You WILL pick up the phone right now and call a clinic and get tested THIS WEEK. Your local Planned Parenthood does them daily and can squeeze you in, or community health clinic. Everything is confidential.

There are no rights, wrongs, fairness, emotions....this is your health. It's just what you have to do. No waiting til next week.

Stick with getting H tested....but make him do it, stop being his mother. Just put it to him straight...if he wants to reconcile, you both get tested and show each other the results by the end of this month. Period. Or else he can leave again.

TL is right, exposing someone to put their health in danger is one of the most violent things you can do. it's downright awful and hard to forgive.

I'm not preaching what I can't do: I'M GETTING TESTED THIS FRIDAY. So joi me and do the same. PLEASE. I really care about you.