I agree with Amy. You do NOT need him to survive, that you will do yourself; you don't need to get love and affection from him- you can get that from your children; you do not need him to help you to be a worthwhile person. You always were and always will be. Give 'em the boot, girl. There are more out there, so I hear.
Your H is immature (just like my 43 yr old) and does not deserve the privilege of being called your husband nor does he make much of a role model for your children in the state he is in. I also say cut him loose- you don't need this B***sh*t. None of us do...
And another thing-he needs to find another place to stay when he is in town. You owe him NOTHING, not a roof over his muddled little head or the frayed corner of a blanket to sleep under every few weeks when he decides to drop back into your life overnight.

Emily, you can do whatever you need to without this man who has become a boulder tied to your leg. Have you started working on your business plan for your grooming business yet? There are some great sites out there with free business plan formats.I used one years ago for a business class faux business plan I had to create. The plans are not considered always necessary for every type of business, but I learned how helpful they can be in projecting income, growth, expenditures and those kinds of things. This could be a great diversion for you that will only have positive effects your life. I remember reading that some people put together plans years before ever intending to act upon them. Get on with YOUR life. If he comes back once you've successfully done that you'll be in a much better place to consider whether he is worthy of your time.

That said- I know how much easier it is to say than to do sometimes, hence my appearance on this board several months ago. My H is on the way out the door, too and it breaks my heart. I,however; will not succumb to the depression, denial, anger, yada-yada( well maybe the anger for a little while longer...). Experience them, I have and will but I'm trying hard to find the positives in this sitch and build up from them. I think that all of us here can do this and must in order to save ourselves, first in baby steps and then hopefully in leaps and bounds.All is possible through the grace of God.

Amy, at this point I'd give one of my H's nuts in hopes that maybe without the weight he'd be able to get himself back into balance again. I rather doubt that at this point,though.I wonder if he'd even notice that it is gone since it must be very hard to see when one has one's head so incredibly far up his ***. The visualizations do make me smile, I'll admit. And they say that Virginia is for lovers... I'm in Northwestern VA, where are you?

Take care Emily, you're doing great!

SW