I hit a brick wall called rage today. I ended up screaming so hard that I think my throat bled. I'm wondering how to climb over this wall.
I want to stay angry because it protects me from the hurt that Kevin is causing. . . but I know it's a bad place to stay.
I am amazing serene but when I get to thinking about everything I just get that knot of anger in my chest/throat.
I want to rip all his happiness from him. He's made me so mad. This week while he was home he tried to act like a model father . . . he tried to act like he even knows his kids and at that point I felt myself wishing I could kick him in the teeth and tell him he's NEVER been there for them so to stop acting like he's the best damn dad.
I think he's honestly more worried about what people will think when he leaves then he is about having/not having his children.
I'm working my way through this. Thank God for that. Now to just find a spot of forgiveness not anger
