Thanks singleagain but I'm not going in circles anymore.
Thanks to you too RB . . . BUT you didn't spend those two days with him . . . I did. You didn't see him cry over her. It was so sad . . . I felt awful for him. I just wanted to tell him to go home to her because him being that miserable made me feel like crap. I can't believe how disappointed in me he is. He is soo upset when he is with me. Miserable. He's just finally concluded that I wasn't right for him and he found the one that was.
It's simple really. I'm not freaking out. I can only move forward, there is no looking back anymore. Don't worry . . . I'll "leave him alone" . . . there's really no choice.
He's not going to change, nothing about the sitch is. He's been with her for almost a year and they've been living together. According to him the only reason they ever fight is because of me. They've never had a real fight about anything else. It's OK. He NEEDS to be happy . . . and she gives him that.
Sorry to hear your news. Call me cynical but something about your last few posts isn't making any sense to me. When I figure it out I will let you know.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Quote: I can't believe how disappointed in me he is.
He is soo upset when he is with me. Miserable
HE's the one who's erased your good years together, it isn't his fault he is weak and runs instead of fighting for his family, he is still playing the blame game, don't buy it.
It's a shame he is still delusional, his bubble will pop eventually, I'm not saying you should wait for him, just that HIS character flaw=affair isnt' your fault and it was nothing you did, he's taking the coward's way out.
I'll pray you remain strong and stand up for you and the girls, sorry you had to listen to his nonsence)))))))))))))))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Try not to worry about your H. He cannot love anyone until he loves himself. I have learned this about my W (BTW - I got served last night). She has low self-esteem and continues to look outward for her happiness.
Do like Dorothy would Emily - Get yourself some ruby red shoes - remind yourself that if you ever want to go searching for your hearts desire - you have to go no farther than your own backyard. Your happiness comes from within - so does your Hs. He will have to find this on his own - you cannot find it for him. Likewise - you will need to find yours...
"If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right." - Mary Kay Ash
"I have found that most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be." - Abraham Lincoln
Quote: Call me cynical but something about your last few posts isn't making any sense to me. When I figure it out I will let you know.
Definately do, I can't imagine what it could be . . . but if I'm not making sense and you know why . . let me know!
Quote: HE's the one who's erased your good years together, it isn't his fault he is weak and runs instead of fighting for his family, he is still playing the blame game, don't buy it.
It's a shame he is still delusional, his bubble will pop eventually, I'm not saying you should wait for him, just that HIS character flaw=affair isnt' your fault and it was nothing you did, he's taking the coward's way out.
I'll pray you remain strong and stand up for you and the girls, sorry you had to listen to his nonsence)))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks for the kind words. It's appreciated. Hopefullly I'll get to the point where I understand that it's not really all my fault he's still so confused.
Thanks to you too Santhony. I couldn't be happier that Kiya is alright!
I just hope that he really is happy this time. I'm ready for it to be done, I think. I'm tired of never being able to believe anything that he says. I'm tired of being lied to. I'm just ready to give it a rest and let him lie in the bed he's made. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE somewhere down the road he'll come back and MAYBE I'll let him. MAYBE. Maybe reality will hit them and he'll see that it wasn't just he and I that had problems. . . EVERYONE does.
I feel so bad that he's so guilty and confused. I could see the guilt and the hurt in him. I think he felt bad for her as much if not more than he did about what he's done to me. I just don't understand what he's going through. I only know that he was VERY sad for most of the weekend.
Quote: According to him the only reason they ever fight is because of me. They've never had a real fight about anything else. It's OK. He NEEDS to be happy . . . and she gives him that.
He will never be happy with her. You said a mouthful when you said they only fight about you. I hate to tell your H this but he has you in his life forever because of the kids. Little "Miss High & Mighty" better get used to hearing your name. Maybe she won't hear it from him but she will hear it from your girls when they are with her and their daddy. There will always be a bond between you and your H no matter what happens.
I think you have gotten yourself prepared for anything because you seem so calm. Don't let any of what he says upset you. Take it in stride. He is trying to get a reaction. He wouldn't have stayed there with you if he didn't want to be with you. Whether he had a car or not, if he wanted out, he would have left. He is playing mind games with you. I bet he does the same with her.
You are doing great right now so continue on down this path.
Maybe you're right T2 maybe they are all just head games. But I really don't think so anymore. I think he's just been REALLY confused and she caught him on the "rebound" . . . helped him stop feeling the hurt I know he felt when we split. She's his bandaid to get over the ache of leaving behind his wife and kids. Now that he's been with her . . . he feels that our M is too screwed to get back together. So he tells himself it isn't guilt he feels it's the longing love for her.
I think I see different, he even commented to me when we had to go downstate together, "I'm surprised this doesn't bother you. Coming down here." I asked why and he replied, "Because you must hate this place now!" I said, "WHY? I love this area."
He just gave me a confused look. He was really quiet that day and had those teary eyes all day.
He's just ready to run . . . and he's doing it again. Only this time he's not going to have me as a net. I'm done catching him when he wakes up and realizes that she doesn't really fill his every need. I'm tired of the crap. I'm ready for it to just be done and over. I'll go along with him and see just how far he'll take his game.
YOU sound good, praise the Lord. So glad Kiya is fine, too.
Your husband has the mental capacity of a slug and the motivation to match it.
Cassie - A/K/A glorified-trailer-trash-home-wreckin-slut -will reap what she has sown. Bet on that. And yeah, she needs to get used to you being around, if only as a "ghost".
Personally, I'd love to see her so haunted by the mother of Kevin's children that she gets your image so far up her rear end that when she opens her eyes each morning, she sees "EMILY" written on the bedroom wall. Or the inside wall of the cab of the rig. Whichever.
Quote: YOU sound good, praise the Lord. So glad Kiya is fine, too. ME TOO! THANK YOU GOD
Your husband has the mental capacity of a slug and the motivation to match it. Couldn't agree more! Cassie - A/K/A glorified-trailer-trash-home-wreckin-slut -will reap what she has sown. Bet on that. And yeah, she needs to get used to you being around, if only as a "ghost".
Personally, I'd love to see her so haunted by the mother of Kevin's children that she gets your image so far up her rear end that when she opens her eyes each morning, she sees "EMILY" written on the bedroom wall. Or the inside wall of the cab of the rig. Whichever. I'd LOVE that too Amy. I hope that I never step outside the bounds of what is going on and I still drive her crazy! I also hope that she does reap what she's sown. March on, Emily.
Fact is, you are too damn good for him! Thanks I needed to hear this, this morning.
I woke up this morning a little sick to my stomach and feeling totally alone. I tried calling friends lastnight but no one was home and no one called me back.
I have been talking back and forth with an old friend on myspace. . . it's been really great to have that connection.
I know that I will miss Kevin for awhile but it'll pass. I'll be just fine. I'm just trying to brace myself for the divorce papers and the courtroom and all of that. I barely made it through the support hearing. YUCK . . . NOT looking forward to any of it.
