How do you know this? Because he told you this? Of course he is going to say this because he knows it gets a reaction out of you. He won't come home until he knows you won't get mad at him or say things to him anymore. Why come home to a place that he is going to get badgered all the time?
You need to go one whole day and not write or think about Kevin at all. Write and think about Emily, Felina & Kiya. You will be surprised at how much peace it will bring to you.
You're all right. I screwed up big time. I don't think he'll give me another shot. Nor do I think I deserve one.
You're absolutely right. I'm sure he hates me by now.
Yes these are the things he tells me, "I love her more" "I'm divorcing you (this time it just happened to be this Monday)" etc etc etc They're not all crazy assumptions. ALSO I would like to point out that not yet have I had an ASSumption that was wrong. So far they've all been right.
He was suppose to be here tomorrow. I would have loved that. We had a wonderful weekend planed. When we are together I am happy and I don't badger him about things. It's totally different when he is with me. . . . because when he's with me I know he's not talking to her or seeing her. He can be thinking about her . . . but I don't have to know about that.
I just don't know. I screwed it all up and I think it may have really been my last chance.
I don't understand. You already know he's not coming tomorrow? And you can see to Monday? Wow. Where do you get your crystal ball? Mine didn't work when it got here... and no warranty, of course!!!
Emily, I find it incredible how you turn around the positive stuff people here send you to say "You're all right... I'm a piece of cr*p." It's fascinating to see how someone with such a poor image of themselves can take even a compliment and turn around to become a critism.
You don't understand what we're telling you to do because you don't pay attention. It's quite simple:
1. Stop calling. (no "I'm trying" No buts... you own your hands when they pick up the phone. You own your mouth when you say hello. Nobody is doing this for you. Do it, don't just try. When someone says they will try like that, it means they don't trust themselves to do it.) 2. Get a Life. Do stuff for yourself. Get to the park. Go to the library. Take a walk around the block. Simple things. 3. Live for yourself not for H or OW. Stop thinking that what they do controls your life.
Pay attention. Think about what these things mean. If you really don't understand something here, ask questions. Then pay attention to the answers.
Re-read your threads. It's all been repeated ad nauseum.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
Quote: Emily, I find it incredible how you turn around the positive stuff people here send you to say "You're all right... I'm a piece of cr*p." It's fascinating to see how someone with such a poor image of themselves can take even a compliment and turn around to become a critism.
This is why, Emily, I sometimes think that you are actually doing all of this as a practical joke that you are playing on this entire board. I sometimes find it impossible to believe that anyone can imagine these things and convince themselves that they are reality.
Emily, your H flip-flops every week on the divorce. You know this. You know that your H does not love the OW -- he's not capable of loving anyone right now, just like you're not. You are both too screwed up and emotionally needy to really love anyone.
In spite of this, you "turn up the drama" in your sitch with the "woe is me" crap about your H filing for D. You would rather have people feel sorry for you than be happy.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Quote: This is why, Emily, I sometimes think that you are actually doing all of this as a practical joke that you are playing on this entire board. I sometimes find it impossible to believe that anyone can imagine these things and convince themselves that they are reality.
Emily, your H flip-flops every week on the divorce. You know this. You know that your H does not love the OW -- he's not capable of loving anyone right now, just like you're not. You are both too screwed up and emotionally needy to really love anyone.
In spite of this, you "turn up the drama" in your sitch with the "woe is me" crap about your H filing for D. You would rather have people feel sorry for you than be happy.
