Emily, I've had two meetings with my lawyer and haven't filed for divorce. As a matter of fact, meeting with his lawyer on Monday means that it is unlikely that he will file then. That's IF he even shows up, Emily, which is unlikely.
Stop worrying about things that are out of your control anyway. Start working on the things that you CAN control.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
What are you learning? I don't know the answer to this question What HAVE you learned? Apparently nothing.
Amy I didn't mean to piss you off.
I answered your questions about the driver license in the post right above yours.
No I don't think he's running around the roads partying. I think he is just calling her instead of me. It's not a matter of him partying. . . . it's a matter of him STILL choosing her over me. I understand why though. You've made that painfully clear.
Quote: As a matter of fact, meeting with his lawyer on Monday means that it is unlikely that he will file then
Why is that RB? I don't understand how this all works.
I am trying to listen, I mean so far I've done some of things you wanted me to do. I took some steps.
I know you want me to say I'll stop calling. I'd love to say it and be able to do it. But the best I can give you is I'll really try.
Hi Emily, My husband told me not to get lawyers involved and than turned around and had me served with divorce papers 5 weeks after he left. You can CONTEST the divorce for 2 years in PA. I know because that is what I am doing. DO NOT worry about him filing for divorce. Worry about you and the girls. Go to court and at least establish CC and CS if he is not giving you money for bills and food and clothing for the girls.
My H is living with my "friend" (3 weeks) after he left and we caught them together (2 weeks after he left). Do not worry about them - it will end in its own time. Let it take its course - you do not have a choice. Give him enough rope to hang himself.
I have not spoken to or seen my H in 4 months. He will call about the girls if he cares. Just be nice and calm and do not bring up the OW or your R. Please calm down and be happy you are only hurting yourself. Everyone here does care about you and they worry.
continuing off what RB said....the meeting with the lawyer can actually halt the process indefinitely once he is face to face with reality.
Screaming divorce and actually filing and reaping the results of it, are two different things.
And straight up, Kevin is too lazy to do the legwork.
Furthermore, when was the last night he spent in your apartment with you? Remember, we talked about this before. He resets the clock when he does that. I doubt he CAN file.
But more concerning to me is that this has all become about Kevin again.
Thanks TLI06 . . . they've been dating almost a year and have moved into (and out of and into and out of . . . you get the point. She's as stupid as me in this tug-o-war) the engagement stage though. . . . not a lot of hope for that relationship to "run it's course"
RB I understand what you mean. BUT he and I have no joint property . . except the kids. There's nothing to be divided or split. It'll be a pretty simple process for him to file.
I did know that you have 2 years in PA. AND believe me I plan on using all 2 of them!
Quote: And straight up, Kevin is too lazy to do the legwork. I think she's his driving force. He seems to do whatever she tells him too.
Furthermore, when was the last night he spent in your apartment with you? I honestly don't know Amy . . I'll go back through my posts. I think it's been a month . . . maybe a little more. Remember, we talked about this before. He resets the clock when he does that. I doubt he CAN file. I remember having some sort of convo about all of this. But I don't remember why he wouldn't be able to file. According to domestics we've been split since May. Could you refresh my memory?
But more concerning to me is that this has all become about Kevin again.
That disappoints me.
This happens every weekend. It disappoints me too! I know it happens every other weekend. . . because he's suppose to "come home" and he always goes down to her. This time he even had his address changed so they routed him through here (I know this because I have a $404.00 paycheck of his sitting on top of my microwave). He'll probably say the check got "lost in the mail" and they'll issue him a new one. JEESH . . . seems like an awful lot of work
I posted the following to Hopeful Husband last night.
It bears repeating here because you simply don't know the power behind you when you're trying to do the right thing.
No matter which side of the fence any of us find ourselves on, THIS is the TRUTH.
NOTHING CHANGES IT.
EVER!!
Quote: You need my help to strengthen your resolve? Well let's see...are you willing to stop at this point and spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you'd waited just a little longer? That helped me in the early months when everything in the world told me there was no hope.
To this day, with divorce papers likely imminent, I still stand and proclaim that "YES! THERE IS HOPE!" If your spouse or my spouse, for whatever reason does not choose to grab onto that hope that's their choice, but for as long as we claim to be believers and witnesses it is our responsibility to stand.
Some would say "am I supposed to wait forever?".
How should I know?
That's between you and God so you'd best be cultivating a relationship with Him so YOU will know.
We, no matter our past mistakes, have been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb and although the enemy stands ready to see us convicted every day for our sins, we have an Advocate in Jesus Christ.
Think of it like this: God is sitting on His Throne as Judge and satan, the prosecutor, is on one side telling Him all the things we are guilty of...it's not looking too good for us and we're facing the death penalty...
But then the Defense takes the floor and He makes the shortest argument in the history of the judicial system...
"It is all under the Blood".
That's it.
Case dismissed!
God cannot look at us while we are in this sinful flesh.
But through Christ, we have been redeemed.
God now sees us THROUGH the Blood.
He looks at us, the redeemed of the Lord, and He sees Christ!
Can you imagine?
It still gives me chills...
...but here's the kicker...precisely because of our newly strengthened faith, our redemption through Christ, our release from death row, if you will...we stand worthy to claim and receive EVERY SINGLE PROMISE GOD EVER MADE.
Health, joy, peace, success, love, prosperity....ALL OF IT is ours, BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD.
But the enemy has now gotten wind that we know who we are in Christ, and he's raising up all of hell against us because when he lost control of us, he lost our entire family units.
THAT'S RIGHT!
You can claim the salvation of your children AND your wife. The Bible says the unbelieving spouse is sanctified (MADE HOLY) by the believing spouse.
That's you.
Tell me it's not your place to stand longer.
I'll tell you that you've been deceived.
When we have been blessed enough to have the knowledge to choose, God says "choose life".
That, to me, means "STAND".
He never said we wouldn't be battered, bruised and bloody when we finish this race. He just promised us He'd see us through it. Sometimes, I don't know how. But I know what He said. And that is good enough for me to keep one hand reaching towards the sky come hell OR high water. In my case, they usually come together AND often .
Nicely put Amy! I needed to read that. I'll have to come back and read it again and again.
I am not ready to quit standing. I just don't think Kevin is going to stop and look back at the three of us long enough to miss us. HE LOVES HER. That's his new world and he's all caught up in it. So if he files Monday. . . . I'll have two more years of being married . . . not that anything good will come of it. But as you always say. At least I can say I tried my best and stood through until the bitter end.
Emily
All of this is based on assumptions.
You keep thinking things and you allow the thoughts in your head to take over and then you begin to believe the garbage in your own head.
It is totally nuts, this is beyond depression.
I am glad you are finally taking meds but you still need to be responsible for your own thoughts and behavior.
Is this how you act around Kevin?
Give me one reason why he should want to come home if he is afraid of what your moods will be like.
STOP worrying about Kevin and what he is doing, and start worrying about Emily and the way she behaves.
.