Wow, it sounds like you were going through what my wife was. I was not ignoring her, but I certainly could have been more there for her. The separation and A was certainly a wake up call for me, like a 2x4 across the head.
The dichotomy is that I would do anything to get her to feel close to me again even though I am the “offended party” here. She does not seem to be lifting a finger toward our R.
Am/Was I being offensive? Great question. I certainly was when I confronted her about her continuing A and she was lying through her teeth to me (this is not speculation; I knew that for a fact.) However, even when I hint that I would like to discuss how we are doing, she gets very uptight, so, I just don’t.
Re ML, I know her, and she needs to once again feel close to me to want to do that. That’s what I’m trying to accomplish. Funny, all of us on this board want to make our Marriages work again, we all share that desire. Many if not most of our spouses want the same things but may not feel it is possible. I often feel that my W no longer has a desire to make it work as she just thinks it can’t. That’s what I am facing here.
Thanks heatherg, and not to be one sided, please let me know if there’s any thing I could possibly answer for you.
