No problem, it was suggested to me by NYSurvivor before he left the boards if that lends any credibility to the recommendation
I was thinking the same thing as Pipeliner's Wife, that it might be a good place to start to tell your W that you would like to be intimate with her in whatever ways she feels comfortable.
Now, heatherg, let me ask you this. You had both a PA and EA. How long did it take you to get over them before them before you started having feelings for your H again?
I never really lost my feelings for my H. The PA I had was probably more akin to a one night stand than a love affair. I kissed somebody and spent some time with them when I should have been at home. That was the physical part. I didn't have any difficulty severing my ties with him, in fact once I realized how hurt my H really was, OM really just made me feel sick to my stomach.
The EA was a little different because your mind can fill in the blanks in the most positve way, kwim? I did have a difficult time not contacting him anymore because I really did get used to speaking to him via internet at night. I felt very alone in my R and this internet thing made me feel connected to someone...it was hard to let that go, particularly because after I told H I needed a friend more than ever. But I actually got turned off from this guy as well, as he and his W found out she was pregnant and he still wanted to talk to me, carry on this R with me. I thought that was terrible....if he could do that to his W and unborn child I really didn't want anything to do with him. I said goodbye and asked that he not reply to this last email.
So, here I am. Honestly I was shocked at how hurt my H was by the whole thing because all along when I presented a problem, he would not acknowledge it and if I said I wanted to leave him he would tell me to do what I needed to do.
So, in my case, the more appropriate question is how long will it take H to develop feelings for me again? Will he ever be willing to communicate love for me even if he does feel it? I have not heard I love you, been kissed on the lips or slept in the same bed as him in over two years. Nor does he wear his wedding ring. So, my friend, I don't know what else to say about that.
I have a difficult time talking to W about things because she still gets very defensive about anything.
Are you pretty sure that you're not coming across offensively?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
