Thanks ladies. I don’t know about the back rub, that may really be pushing it. As I said earlier, I was in hog heaven the other night when our hands touched in bed and she kept hers on mine for a while. It’s funny; she used to ask me why I can’t just “make out” with her in bed without expecting sex all the time. I wish I had that opportunity right now.
Thanks for the book suggestion. Right now I am re-reading “How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together” by Susan Page. It has the same principals as Michelle but re-stated in different ways and suggestions. I recommend it.
Now, what is the ultimate goal for my marriage? I know I am not supposed to say this, but I want things the way they were (less of course my complacent behavior and lack of listening). My W and I used to be just plain silly and immature together. One thing I have thought is wow, my wife had an A, how grown up and serious is this? We were never grown up and serious and we loved it. W used to say ILY to me out of the blue and even said that she probably loved me more than I loved her. It was not true then and I told here that. The word divorce was just not in our lexicon. Also, I want this pit that has moved into my stomach on a full time basis to be gone!
As stated earlier, W has built this huge wall around her heart as a result of her perception that I was not there for her when her mom died. I want so much for that wall to come down or at least for me to be allowed inside of it. In a fit of emotion a few months ago, she actually asked me if I was waiting for her to love me again so I could leave her. She obviously has these huge abandonment issues that I don’t know how to combat except with time.
Anyway, sorry I ramble. Now, heatherg, let me ask you this. You had both a PA and EA. How long did it take you to get over them before them before you started having feelings for your H again? Keep in mind, my W had the A, but I appear to be the one trying to work on the R.
