Quote: In my experience, books like this do not seem to focus on the root problem, but are meant to wake up the woman (and they are almost exclusively written to women) to the abuse they are taking and fight back. That is a necessary step, but Heather has already been doing that for some time, with no gain to show for it. So I do not think that is the core of her problem.
I don't agree that the push is to "fight back". It appears to me that it's more along the lines of:
* You're not crazy, something is off kilter.
* Recognize the dance.
* Determine your part of the dance.
* Change your part of the dance.
To change a hardcore established dynamic between two people - one person *has* to step out of the existing loop. But you have to recognize that there is a loop.
