Ok...so you have grown from that woman you used to be, who wanted to please her H so much that she'd shave her head if he said to. IMPO, that's not a bad thing. I have to wonder though, if some of what he's looking for is at least a part of that woman you used to be...the one who did write him love letters. You probably have tried that I'm sure, to an extent....haven't you?
I know you don't have that intense flood of emotion for him that you did back then (at least not right now), but you've said a few times that he's looking for something from you....well, if that's something you did in the past that eventually worked, could he be wondering why you aren't doing that now? You appeared genuine to him back then to some extent, so he'd eventually give in and stop acting like a horses ass (it impacted him). If you haven't done that now....or perhaps not as much as you did back then...it could be a big huge obvious absence to him.
For whatever reason, those love letters might have meant much more to him than you realize....especially if he's kept them.
Could you try to write him some lovely letters consistently....for a period of time. They don't have to be all flowery and falling all over him, I think you can still be genuine to yourself....would it be worth a try to you?
Also, that's great that you realize now that he hasn't disrespected you in quite some time, IMPO that shows a shifting of the tide in your favor.
