What would happen if you just stopped sleeping in another room and just went to bed in YOUR bed? You have now spoken your piece about how you feel about this to him, at least I think that's what you did. So now, stop tolerating it.
I guess the way I see it is this...you've paid for your mistakes for quite some time. You've beaten yourself up over it, so has he...at some point as we've stated before you have to say enough is enough right? Well when is that time? You can stop accepting his continued punishment of him and put yourself back in your own bed....if he really doesn't like it, he can sleep on the couch. I have to wonder though how much of a deal he's going to make over it NOW....he may not like it, but he might accept it at this point. Sometimes you have to push yourself past that comfort point to intiate change...in this case that could mean you putting yourself back in your own bed and him becoming accustomed to that again. In a sense forcing both of you out of your comfort zones.
Also...I'm with you on getting a 5yr old to bed earlier. Kids need their sleep, keeping him up later than he needs to be isn't good for him when it comes to kindergarten the next day. What's your H afraid of...having time alone with YOU? That's the way it appears to me....if your S stays up later then there is a buffer and no "alone time". Whatchya think? Stick to your guns about the bedtime...your H is not the dictator of the household.
