Sorry to hear frustration is creeping up on you. I gotta ask, though, why are you worrying about this stuff? It's clear you're not going to leave. You're buying (building?) a new house with Matt. So focus on the positives...what you focus on expands. When you run across a negative see if there's another way of looking at it. It's not about making the right decision, it's about making the decision right, remember? You've decided. Now discard the pieces that get in the way of your happiness and emphasize the rest.
Even though we're (practically) divorced, Steff continues do the most irritating, bewildering things. She's nice most of the time, unless she's stressed, but...for example, she has a class one Saturday per month. I'm making plans for one weekend toward the end of October, so I've asked her what weekend her class is so I know when I need to watch the boys and I can plan around that. But she won't get back to me. I asked nicely three or four times. Then I asked her exasperatedly. Then I told her I was going to make my plans in three days whether she got back to me or not, which she says is pressuring her. She's the one who may need me to watch the boys on her weekend with them, why can't she tell me when she needs me? It's been two weeks and counting.
Who knows why? It's always something like this. Should I get spun up about it every week or do I just accept that this is who she is and this is how our R will be? If I hated it enough I could give up custody of the kids and move away, or possibly move away and do a summer/school year custody split, but it's hardly worth that. Nothing for it but to waste as little of my life on her issues as possible.
Matt's going to be exactly who he is. There's always hope he'll institute some changes and start acting more as you'd hope. Meantime, getting spun up by the kind of stuff he's always done isn't helping you, him, your M or your kids. You've found the most peace when you've put this kind of thing aside and focused on your own life and happiness.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
