Same here, with a small difference. I didn't necessarily want to be a sex kitten...until I learned that my H was viewing stuff on the internet that he apparently thought was hot. I needed to know that I could be that person for someone else. OM was completely taken with me, though he was not someone I would ever have been attracted to off the street, kwim? I liked that he liked me and that's all there was to it. Talk about desperate, huh?! But, I felt so disposable to H, that the situation with OM was REALLY, REALLY attractive to me.
But, acting on that attraction to someone else makes all the difference in the world. That's where we have to exercise good judgment and try to repair things within the context of the M, and I know you're struggling with the same issues. I learned the lesson the hard way and I see your lessons haven't come with a cheap price tag either.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
