Like you I suppose, I can eventually understand that my wife may just be done with me. I am divorced now, and there's no reason to think that it will change eventually. In fact I feared this past week that I was going to find out something similar to what you just found out about your wife. I was sure that during wifes trip to old boyfriend, she would at least come back with an engagement ring. Didn't see one over the last two days, so I'm happy about that, but it doesn't mean for sure she didn't get one, and even if she didn't, doesn't mean it won't still happen.
I don't want to think about what that would feel like. Hope I don't experience it myself, and I'm sorry as hell that you did experience it.
What I don't understand is how a woman especially can just walk away from her kids. And in your case, the children are girls, so she can't even rationalize that "they are boys so they are better off with you" as my wife did. My friends and family say the same thing. They are amazed that a Mom could willingly give up custody of her kids. Funny that we're so bad we can't be stayed with, but we're alright to raise the children on our own.
By all indications you are an incredibly considerate, caring, and loving father. Breaks my heart to think of your kids not only not having their Mom this morning, but not even receiving anything from her for Christmas. If you ever wanted a sign that this MLC stuff was a DISEASE, a SICKNESS, there's your overwhelming evidence. It's not a consolation I know, but you do realize how this will hit her one day, right?
You've done everything you can to keep them safe and grounded during this time. I know I'm not the first to tell you that those two precious girls will ALWAYS remember the way you cared for them and carried the load after Mom left. Your place with them is probably secure forever because of the way you've conducted yourself through this mess.
Wish there was a way I could encourage you, make you feel better about things. These family holidays suck when you are a LBS. Even while you and I labor to make the time special for our kids, it's hard for me at least to find great joy when everything else is so messed up. Imagine it's the same for you.
I hope your eleven year old is feeling a little bit better by now. Love her man, give her your time and attention, find something sweet and fun to do with both of them. The best part of this whole mess for me has been the way my relationship with my boys, which was already pretty good, has deepened and changed in positive ways since our saga began. They've seen me good and they've seen me pretty bad. But they know that through all this I've been doing the best I could to make a bad situation tolerable. I'm sure your daughters feel the same way.
It will be a new year pretty soon. It's a chance for you and I and our kids to move out on our new path and establish some new ways of doing things. I'm sure you'll make it great for your girls.
Remember rider, ultimately this life here on earth is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity somewhere. If you think about that, it does add a little perspective to things. Keep working to enjoy a blessed eternity one day. You've got a purpose now, clearer maybe than it's ever been for you. Take care of, and raise properly two wonderful young ladies, taking on the role of both Mom and Dad. I know you're man enough to do both well.
Blessings rider.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
