Rider, I know what you mean about the holidays. Riding home from work the other day (nice 40 minute drive usually, in the country, nice and peaceful) I was trying to figure out why I've been so up and down emotionally the last week or so. I had felt so good before that, felt like the detaching was going well, I was moving on, etc. Then it dawns on me, it's all this stuff - Christmas, Christmas Eve, shopping, cookie making, decorating, New Years Eve. All these things have been family deals for the past 21 years, now they're just me and the boys.
Is your wife happy, does she have it all? Does mine? I don't know, it sure does look like it from the outside though. But I have to remind myself often that they have also given up alot. And they can pretend that they don't care, but it would take a sick person to be able to walk away from their children and not be affected in some way.
I was warned and admonished by friends on her quite often when I first started posting, that I was "glamorizing" my wife's new free life. And I think that's really true for all of us LBS's. Especially if we're caring for homes, children, bills, etc. Looks like our spouses have it all, free and easy.
In the end, I'm not sure it's all that nice. How would you classify the guy your wife is with now? He a good, high quality individual who would be inclined to care for her, nurture her, treat her like a queen like you would? Somehow I doubt it. Yeah, she's missing out. You just need to put the focus on you and what she's really missing out on. And don't expect her to admit that, not for quite some time.
Hang in there Rider. Make the holidays nice for the kids. Then they'll be over and we can move on.
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
