That was truly beautful, Andrew. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
I was a sexually unaware woman. I wanted to. I just couldn't get... warmed up? Once I did, I enjoyed it, but I would never initiate. This a while ago, BTW.. I was very young. But perhaps what I did was what your wife could do?
The thing is I'm not overtly religious. I'm spiritual and believe in God, but I go to church perhaps 5 times a year. I pray by myself, but not in the bible way.
I'm wondering if there is a conflict between what scripture says and my suggestions. If there is, she may not like them. I can see how someone who is very religous might think the stuff I'm suggesting is porn. In my opinion it's not. It's erotic. However, we are talking about books and comics that are about ML.
You see, if she's reading about this stuff on a daily basis, it means she's thinking about it on a daily basis. Once you think about it on a daily basis, you start feeling sensual. The thing is, this comes with all sorts of things, which the church is against, like masturbation, vanity, etc... I can see how this might be difficult for her.
If she already feels sensual and this comes down to a communication issue, I think the suggestion about making a back-rub or something a sign is a great one.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
You know, it could be that her religious values are conflicting with what she thinks you want from her... especially if she views sex in a biblical sense.
I know a LOT of women for whom this is a MAJOR conflict... and they view their H's as being slaves to their sexaul impulses... (myself included, at one time). It IS sexual immaturity, but in some sense, you need to give these women some leeway because that is how they were raised... this is a part of their FIBER.
It's part of the whole "Whore/Madonna" complex that I think fcks up a lot of women.
"Okay... so... I'm supposed to be pure and chaste in thought and deed until I get married," (thereby never learning about your own sexuality, much less getting comfortable thinking about it, or even exploring their own bodies, without a flippin' boat load of guilt)
"Yet... when I get married... I'm supposed to be Madonna outside of the bedroom, but the Whore of Babalon in the bedromm."
Many women from this type of background are raised to believe that sex is for procreation, not recreation, purposes. Course, they are also raised to believe that they should never deny their husbands, which they don't, or try not to, but that whole "I'm now supposed to enjoy this, relish this..." become, what they considered in their minds, to be a whore....
It just DOESN't JIVE. It doesn't feel right, look right, taste right.... because it is FOREIGN to them, it goes against all the things they've been taught, ALL of their lives... and then their H's get perplexed why they might be resisting a tad bit... ??????
Ya get where I am going with this? Does any of this sound familiar?
You know, it could be that her religious values are conflicting with what she thinks you want from her... especially if she views sex in a biblical sense.
I think that was the case for a while. She's changed her views on sex a lot over the years - she's far less prudish now than she used to be. Now, I think it just boils down to low drive.
Quote: .... they are also raised to believe that they should never deny their husbands ....
If only, LOL!
Last night, she had initiated, and then we were all set to do it, and an old abscess on her leg, right in her groin area, started to play up and ooze pus etc. Talk about nature playing a cruel joke on us. I did manage to get a spanking out of it though! So it wasn't all bad, LOL.
Ummmm....Andrew....why would an old absess be oozing? Has she seen a Dr. about this for treatment? If she has an absess in her groin region....that'd be enough to kill my thoughts about sex, that's for sure.
Quote: Ummmm....Andrew....why would an old absess be oozing? Has she seen a Dr. about this for treatment? GEL
It's been there for years. It had been dormant for a long time, and then it flared up again a couple of weeks ago. Long story short, she went to the doctor, and had minor surgery on it the same day, to drain it. It had been healing nicely, and was not causing her any pain or discomfort, but then it started flaring up again last night and oozing. We thought it had been dealt with once and for all. And yes, it did pretty much kill any thoughts of sex, for her at least. Add it to the list of ongoing pressures that stop us ML ...
Just thought you'd all like to know that things have been going better in bed. Things aren't perfect yet, but we have a huge advantage over many people here in that a) we have a lot of emotional closeness, b) she does have some desire, and c) she loves me and wants badly to make me happy.
I've been doing the right things to fan the flames of desire in her, and she's been letting me know that she wants me. She also took a women's herbal remedy for low libido, and it worked, at least on the night she took it .
We also have one area in common too that is ripe for exploration: a desire to play dress-up/role-playing games. Many possibilities come to mind there. So, while it's early days still, I believe we will get through this, and create a far higher level of intimacy in our marriage (and have fun doing it).
I did manage to get a spanking out of it though! 
So it wasn't all bad, LOL. 
.