Quote: I hope this works for you... but seriously, until you realize you can't control her feelings
I don't think he's trying to control her feelings... well, he is, but what he's really asking for is a change in behavior and hoping that the change in feelings will follow. Anyone can change their behavior, no matter how they're feeling. Mojo had a great post on that, about how regular sexual interaction is one of the rituals of marriage that keeps it going, like eating dinner together, decorating the Christmas tree, greeting each other at the beginning and end of the day, attending church together. Even if you don't feel like doing it every time, these are RITUALS that the marriage needs to distinguish it from other more superficial relationships.
Yes, I agree that the rituals are important and sometimes one isn't going to want to do it, but will do it anyway to please the other. However, from what I understand, she never initiates. She never has - her sexual awareness is low. She doesn't feel like it most of the time. Wouldn't it be easier to awaken those things in her than to have her feel pressured to do it, so that he wont leave her? How long can that last?... truthfully? Unless I'm completely misunderstanding the situation, which is why I asked the initial questions.
May it be eternal while it lasts.
My sitch
Me: 36
H:34
M: 5 years
Bomb: 03/14/06
