just a quick re-cap of my sit that may help with getting ideas from others. The more you know the more you may have to offfer.
me the w-33 h-soon to be 37 s-7 dd-5 m almost 9 years dated for 9 prior so tgthr for 18 yikes!
our dating years were shaky. a few break ups here and there. H went through a bout with drinking causing one breakup the rest were due to his working too much and not being available to me physically or emotionally.
Eventually we get married...there didn't seem to be much of a honey moon period. we acted like an old married couple instead of young newlyweds.
son is born and things seem good though h still works long hours...sets up office at home to be there earlier but ends up working all night.
we build new home and suddenly h is getting home earlier.
we have dd during preg things seem off. when dd was 3months old I find out h is having EA. h moves out for a week but comes over everynight to help put kids to bed and talk to me so eventually comes home.
a few months pass and h decides he can't be my h anymore. loves me but isn't in love with me...had continued to see ea ow. h decides he's never coming home..wants D etc.
I get a life (as much as one can with two kids under 3) and start living as if h is never coming home and start being ok with it.
8 months pass and suddenly h is confused (about this time ea ow is asking her h for a D and admits to being in love with my h) and wants to come home.
I let h come home but he's unwilling to go to c. actually at first h only spends time with me on the nights that he was coming to see the kids anyway. things weren't going well and I was fed up so called a lawyer myself...h gets upset and asks that I don't go to the apointment that he'll go to c with me.
we go to c..about 3 sessions that were not productive at all..h just didn't want to address anything..like we were just supposed to go there pay the guy and tell him everythings wonderful.
well 4 years have passed and now h is on ati-anxiety medication, added bourbon nips to his regular drinking, and has taken to purchasing pay per view porn.
When I attmepted to talk with him about his current behaviors his defenses are
medications "going to doctor soon to get off of them, not a problem"
Alchohol "is helping him to be more social, talkative etc not a problem"
Porn "a phase, something different, not a problem"
