Quote: IMO, this is a guilt issue (possibly even instigated by some passive-aggressive behavior from you)...
If by passive aggressive behavior from me you mean me no longer bothering him about the lack of sex issue or anything else for that matter and just doing my own thing..ya I guess it may be what brought it on but who the he!! knows. I'm pretty direct...I didn't know about the porn until we had trouble with the satelite and in searching through the menus I found purchases...questioned him initially and he denied it...then later confessed...when speaking to the satelite co I had them change the ppv set up so that you have to make a phone call to order...maybe he changed it back but who knows...
It's entirely likely he's imagining other women, many women at once, wild situations, etc. during LM. But..frankly, this isn't unusual in men. Men are stimulated visually.
Aren't we all? well lately I find myself imagining myself with someone else just to get through it.
Where you're getting that "there's something missing" feeling is, I believe you're picking up his subconscious guilt in having those fantasies because he feels you would "disapprove" or would feel jealous (true or not).
Not really jealous...just disgusted. This is a man who never had porn mags, didn't want to go to a strip club for his bach pty...always claimed to not be into that and now suddenly he's pay per viewing porno at 5 bucks a wack and not even saving it? all in the name of boredome?
A suggestion:
Tell him you'd like to watch the adult films WITH him. This will let him know you're OK with it. Even BETTER, bury your inhibitions and attempt to let it stoke YOUR libido and go ahead and play (but not out of obligation - he'll KNOW).
You'll find it won't take long before YOU become his primary supplier of pleasure, even in his fantasy world. As that happens, the porno watching will become more rare along with that "something's missing" feeling after LM.
I've already dealt with a real live OW and seperation...I'm not going to put myself out there to deal with his sudden desire for porn...it's not that I mind him wathcing porn...as I said I've been known to watch cinemax late night on occassion...it's the way sex has been with him lately...mind you I'm no prude...I like to have fun but this just feels cheap. It all just feels too much like being with a stranger without the fun of it being a stranger.
