Glad to hear some things have changed for you anyway. I think it is maybe a case of baby steps KWIM. He is at least having sex with you and that is a step in the right direction.
That's the thing...is he really having sex with me..
Load on the praise (somehow??) and maybe he'll want to do it more and in a more intimate way. Y'know after sex being smily loving W that brings him his coffee in bed in the morning (or whatever), so he gets that cause and effect feeling.
The cause and effect feeling wont work in this scenario because this is different sex
Do you talk at all during sex? Saying stuff can help build up the EC. ILY or you're my one and only or whatever intimate phrase you can think of that builds a connection between the two of you. You don't need to overdo it, just once or twice during the encounter.
I have not been in the habbit of saying ILY since the seperation...I'm not going to say something I don't feel and I honestly don't know if I feel it...I know that I don't feel it at all during our recent encounters. this sex is awful...it's strange because we seem to be getting along much better but the sex is more distant than it was when we weren't as close.
I get the sense you are not trusting him? You are worried about the porn and worried the sex is just a cover for what else he might be doing. He needs to feel that trust coming off you to put himself in the position where he wants to build EC.
I don't think I'll ever trust him again. Especially not with his current behavior...what did he trade having an affair for watching porn? I don't know which I'd rather. don't get me wrong...I've watched cinemax late night but I never did understand the desire to watch full on see all porn what's so exciting about that?
Sounds like you are doing better than I am anyhow.
I did take a peek at your thread. I'm sorry I don't have much to say about your sit. Sounds like you're dealing with an awful lot there. Hang in and know that you are a strong, smart, deserving woman.
