It is not so much that the porn is an issue for me...it's that h was never one for it. Always claimed to just not be into that so this "change" worries me a bit.
Why the porn is an issue for me is because I think it may be effecting our sl in a negative way. On the positive side it's making him more interested but on the negative side when we are together I don't feel like it's us, it's just his body and my body. I felt this way before I realized he was renting the porn so it's not me creating the feeling based on that.
Quote: Want the sex to be less mechanical? Then step out of the routine, tell him to kick back - you've got some things you would like to do - and proceed to do them.
I don't mean mechanical as in predicatbly following a routine...I mean mechanical in that there's no real connection going on..it feels more like a sober one night stand that you really don't want to have...I do get hugged and pecked on the cheek at the end but it just doesn't feel right.
I know we've been through alot but something just feels wrong. If I didn't know about the porn I'd think he was having another A and just stepping up his activity with me to cover for it (a lesson perhaps learned from his last A) and well that leads me to what is probably the crux of it all...I don't believe we've healed from the A + seperation...h has just wanted to keep it in the past and "get over it"...pretend it never happend...don't mention it etc.
