In normal situations, I'm with Toughlover, BUT NM, I've been with you for months now and your sitch is not normal and your SO is fcuked up beyond BELIEF.

I'm with whitelight on this, and I'm sorry, b/c I'm sure it's hard. But if not this OW, another. If not one thing, another. The cycle of his insanity and instability is easy to see from a distance. Just patching up his ego and patting his head when he initiates, and being glad he's choosing you and not OW to spend his time with is NOT GETTING TO HIS ROOT PROBLEMS. They are still there whether he asks you back tomorrow, next month, next year. He is UNSTABLE, and takes it out on YOU. Don't pass that legacy on to your girls. Don't let it be okay for them to find a man just like Daddy to treat them how he treats you. You are his personal yoyo to play with, toss it aside, slam it in the dirt even, then yank it back up when he feels like it. There is no rhyme or reason to this man and you are letting him know it's OKAY with you to treat you so poorly b/c if he's just nice again, you'll be right there. WTF?

How's that for a 2x4 upside the head? I care about you NM, but I think you're making a mistake by there being no REAL LIFE CONSEQUENCES for his actions and him having you and your kids move out. HE THREW YOU OUT. Hello?! He needs to get on with his own life and figure it out first. Don't condone his behavior by spending time with him. Go dark. You have plenty of people you can exchange kids in neutral locations. You drop them off at sister's at 3:30. He picks them up at 4:00. You know? Make a REAL CHANGE here. No contact. He is mental, sister. Let him hit bottom and, as whitelight said, finally be able to rebuild.

This limbo with each other will get neither of you where you want to be.


Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19

If it seems slow in coming, wait.
It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3

Part 4