So now I'm ROFLMAO at the picture of YOU looking like a walrus with twizzlers sticking out of your nose!! Co-workers peeking over their cubicles wondering why the hell you're snorting and whether to call the paramedics or not!!
Had the walk-thru today. It really is a VERY nice house. Completely remodeled & painted within the last 2 years. Very nice. The mayor is my next door neighbor; on the other side an attorney who's family also owns one of the local car dealerships; some judges on the back side. Good neighborhood, obviously. Quiet cul-de-sac - no way for anyone to do any "coincidental" drive-bys, if you catch my meaning.
SO has been the same - up & down. No, actually - mostly down. Last night asked me to come lay with him until he fell asleep. Constantly asking me "What are you thinking?" Sometimes I tell him; sometimes I don't. He's still trying to get me into bed, I've been deflecting those advances as carefully as I can - with a little bit of flirting, no outright denial, but no-go. I just can't anymore. Not that I don't want to; but it wouldn't be right. Not to me anyway. He seems to think otherwise.
He's getting his wisdom teeth out tomorrow (and another Vicodin scrip) so, he's gonna be a bear. He also confessed last night that he's scared of being put under - this is his 1st time. I never bothered to ask how he's getting home. I'm pretty sure they won't let him drive, but not my problem, I guess.
I've got some last minute things to do for "D7 soon to be 8's" birthday party on saturday. I plan on starting to put things in MY house Monday, continuing with what I can during the week, then the big move still planned for the 7th.
And Yes, with SO being a DJ - I have access to all kinds of strobe lights; fog machine, and....oooh - a bubble machine!! And I just bought a pair of bedside lamps with leopard print shades!!!!
Rest assured NM, I was able to sucessfully extract the twizzlers and sidestep the quizzical looks from my co-workers prior to any medical intervention.
It sounds like a fantastic place all in all. I can't remember (although I'm certain you've said it before) but will this require a change in your D's school district?
Quote: I never bothered to ask how he's getting home. I'm pretty sure they won't let him drive, but not my problem, I guess.
My W just had this procedure done last year and believe me, he will not be allowed to drive home under his own power, nor would anyone want him to! Like you said though, its not your problem at this point.
Quote: And Yes, with SO being a DJ - I have access to all kinds of strobe lights; fog machine, and....oooh - a bubble machine!! And I just bought a pair of bedside lamps with leopard print shades!!!!
A bubble machine even? Oh hell, I'm there! And lol, in my mind, I just picture the bedroom as a larger version of Otter's fraternity bedroom in Animal House....complete with wet bar and cool jazz music....if you know what I'm talking about, then its probably funny, if not, then I just made an inside joke.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Well, Rob, found myself with a little time on my hands Saturday night, and thinking of you, I ended up watching Animal House since I hadn't seen it in a while. Then yesterday, I had to go to the house so I could measure for the wet bar. Unfortunately, it won't fit. LOL Guess I'll have to stick with disco lights and a dash of leopard print here and there.
Saturday we had D8's party at SO's mothers house. We had to go in two vehicles and he stopped off to wash his truck, (even though it was raining) so I got there before him. I told everyone that was already there not to say a word to him about anything. Then, it happened that everyone else who was coming all arrived at the same time and were outside chatting so I went outside and made a speech to them: "Hey guys, I want everyone to do me a favor. SO doesn't know the details of next weekend, and I'd like to keep it that way. I know everyone probably wants to say something to him, and he's expecting that, so I'd rather no one say a word to him. That will bother him more than if everyone jumps all over him. And, if he brings it up to any of you, just divert him and say you don't want to talk about it now, it's D8's day and you will talk about it some other time. That will get him more than if anyone says anything to him." Everyone kind of laughed, agreed to what I said, and promised not to say a word to him. And, as far as I know - no one did.
Anyway, I've been avoiding any interactions with him as much as possible. Talking right now won't change anything, so why bother. Same thing with sex. He keeps trying; I keep avoiding. Before, I didn't have (too much) of a problem with it. Now I do. I don't want to. I just can't fathom how he can tell me to get out so he can pursue his R with OW, yet still want me in some ways. I don't understand.
Today, I'm going to start bringing stuff to the house. This is going to be a long week.
NM, sorry I have been scarce. Have you moved? How is it going? You continue to be in my prayers. We had a b-day party for S11 on Saturday too. What a coincidence, huh?
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
Allrighty....all moved. What a long week it was. SO was very weepy throughout it all.
I did exactly as I planned, left all the personal, family stuff up until Saturday when he was gone. He called me crying when he got there that night and came into the empty house.
Since then, he's called, texted, emailed me continuously. The kids have been with family since Friday night, so that I could move without having to worry about them, too. Saturday night around midnight he called me after he was done with work, asked if he could come over. Yes, I let him. So, the first night I was in here, he stayed over. My sister was supposed to stay, but at the last minute she decided to go back home. Had she stayed, and I wasn't here alone, I most likely would have told him no. But, he came over and stayed the night.
Some interesting remarks from him throughout this that he's said to me: "I'm leaving {whatever we were talking about} just like this until you move back in."
"You know how that (R with OW) is going to turn out."
Out of the blue, he texted me - asking if he could go to my 20th reunion with me.
Called me around midnite last night crying that the house was too empty and quiet; another comment about "me" not there anymore.
Called me a few times last night about stupid things - I didn't pick up a couple of times; then cut convos short, ending 1st when I did speak with him.
Kids will be back today.....I still have so much unpacking to do. He's already emailed about how bad his night was last night; and if he could see the kids today.
That's it for now. Shower...then more unpacking before kids get here.
GOOD! I'M GLAD HE'S HAVING A TOUGH TIME. SERVES HIS SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE A$$ RIGHT.
There, now I can go on with my day. Take care NM. I am SURE things will turn out ok for you, whatever ok is in your mind. If you want him back, I can only hope it's 100% under terms YOU decide or else things don't happen.
You are such a strong woman who deserves to have happiness. Strive for that today.
If you allow him to ween himself off of you he will. You need to let him break, he will only do so if you cut off all contact. If you hadn't let him spend the night he woul dhave been in sooo much pain that he may have broke.
How's the leopard print "den of inequity" coming along? lol
I agree wholeheartedly with GH. GOOD,SO needs to feel the consequences of his actions, or lack thereof. Keep strong!'
Rob
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Don't have much time - just wanted to post this email I awoke to from SO...
"I have to say that I had a very hard time holding in all of my emotions when I got there last night, I know this is hard, and I made the wrong decision, and will not be able to live with all this stuff going on in my head. I'll talk more later, gotta compose myself for the rest of this show today, still no sleep last night, I hope I can sleep today for a bit before tonight."
He asked if he could come by last night...brought dinner, it was the first he'd seen the kids since Friday. Then, I kind of "encouraged" him to leave once the 2 little ones were in bed. He also helped D8 set up some things in her room.
I actually haven't said anything to him about this email - been extremely busy with new kid/school schedule this AM. Just thought I'd post it for everyone's comments/suggestions.
This is great. Keep letting him come over etc. and soon he won't worry at all. He'll know he still has you and the move doesn't mean anything except that he now owns the other house and can live his playboy lifestyle.
NM, THIS IS YIOUR FINAL CHANCE!!!!!CUT HIM OFF!PLEASE!!!!
He's already emailed about how bad his night was last night; and if he could see the kids today.