Don't apologize for your mood to us, considering what you are faced with, you are going to have days like this. Its all so very hard and you've being doing fantastic all along. Right now, SO is just not in a place where he can productively put back into the relationship, but there are signs that maybe he's poking his head out. The bottom line is, it seems to me, that he won't do that until rock bottom hits and I believe you moving forward with all this will be rock bottom.
I understandt that motivation is lacking right now, so maybe try to re-focus on something not related to this mess (yeah, Rob, like what...?) maybe your D's birthday party or something to get your mind on to something else. You're such a strong woman full of amazing personality...you can't lose.
I wish I had more to say but at the very least I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and wanted to offer whatever little support I could.
Sending sunshine your way.....
Rob
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
