Not much to say. Slowly packing things. This is excruciating. I wish I could simply wave a wand and disappear. Knowing that I'm not going anywhere for 3 weeks yet makes it all so hurtful. Knowing I'm going - yet still so far away. Plus, D7's b-day is in 2 weeks, so, gotta smile pretty around family & friends. Then, 3 weeks later is D1's 2nd birthday. I think I'm having that party at "MY" place.
The outpouring I'm receiving from HIS family has me surprised. I feel bad (for him) that they are all taking my side. None of them want to have anything to do with him. His sister, who I rarely talk to (mostly because of circumstance & lack of opportunity, not because we don't get along or anything) emailed me and said she would take all 3 kids the weekend I move. Ummm - shocked me. She's never had ANY of them, let alone offer to take all 3. LOL
I'm planning to move the weekend of Oct 7-8th. I've planned it this way because he has to work. I DON'T WANT HIM AROUND. And told him so. He's insisting that he wants to help - that this should be "us" doing it and I shouldn't involve anyone else. WTF? I said no. Told him I planned on doing it while he was working - it would just be easier emotionally on all of us. My sister & some friends will help me. Should be easy enough - I'm going to try and have most everything down in the basement ready for the moving truck. Back it in, load it up in one shot, and drive away. End of this story. Beginning of a new one.
I'm planning on going to the courthouse Tuesday with a friend to file for custody and get the ball rolling on the attorney. I've waited for 2 reasons (A) kids were sick this week and (B) I want another set of ears with me so I don't miss anything. My friend can only go on Tuesday, so that's when it will have to be.
The other day I also got to overhear XSO on the phone with OW. Up until this point, I had never borne witness to any of their interactions. Yeah, I guess you could say I eavesdropped - although it didn't start out intentional. I was in the bathroom, heard him talking, then started listening. Then, when I realized who he was talking to, I couldn't leave the bathroom without being found out. Besides, I was curious.
I was shocked at what I was hearing. He was very rude, very sarcastic, very demeaning. Not how I would have expected him to be talking to her. As a matter of fact, he swore at her a few times - really nasty - words he's rarely, if ever, used towards me. I thought to myself, jeez, he's treating her worse than me. I found it interesting. That and they were arguing over "ME". LOL Gave me a little thrill in a demented sort of way. Like "Hah, I'm moving out and it's STILL not good enough." Makes me shake my head because I just don't get it. Especially when I think back to when he moved out into his own place and "they" lasted all of 2.5 months before he threw her out of his apartment.
Yesterday he told me that he wants to make time to talk with me this weekend. I asked what about? He said he wants to talk to me about how he feels about me moving out and "all this sh!t going on". I said "Why not now?" Kids were at school, baby was napping, we had uninterrupted time. He said because he's not sure of everything he wants & needs to say yet. Whatever. Don't know when he expects to talk - he's working all weekend and I may go to my sisters for the night. Shrug.
I'm thinking this "talk" has something to do with my vehemence that we have no contact once I'm gone, except for the exchange of kids. He's asked certain things that seem like he wants to continue in my life, same as now. I said no. Things like:
"Who's going to plow my driveway?" I'll shovel it, thank you. It's only big enough for one vehicle.
"Who's going to bring you lunch & cigarettes?" Um, I know my way to the deli.
"How are you going to wake up every morning?" He's been calling here, to make sure I'm up, even though I get up using an alarm clock!
"Won't we eat dinner together?" (On nights he doesn't have to work.) Uh, don't think so.
Stupid things ~ to me, anyway. Things that make it seem like he wants to hang on in some ways. But I'm not doing it. He acts like I'm going to "need" him there all the time or something. I don't get it.
Then, 3 weeks later is D1's 2nd birthday. I think I'm having that party at "MY" place. 
LOL 
Gave me a little thrill in a demented sort of way. Like "Hah, I'm moving out and it's STILL not good enough." Makes me shake my head because I just don't get it. Especially when I think back to when he moved out into his own place and "they" lasted all of 2.5 months before he threw her out of his apartment. 
