Ali, I seriously dunno how I got past that, or honestly if I really am. All I can say is that at some point I just stopped thinking about him/them/the affair every minute...then every hour...then a day past and the next day I realized that I didn't think about it all the previous day.
I hate to use your sitch to answer your question, but looking at what you say about your H's tattoo, I think if there were something like that, constantly reminding me of my W's OM, I'd probably have a much harder time.
That said, all I can say is that you just have to let the new, better thoughts being produced by your "new" marriage take the place that those terrible thoughts have occupied for too long in your head. I guess what I am saying is that part of it must be an active choice by you to let go.
I know there was a point in my ordeal I realized that I actually enjoyed (for lack of a better word) the pain, suffering, anger, etc. I felt entitled to it because of what she'd done. When I realized that, I also realized that it was a sickness of sorts to cling to those negative feelings just because they'd become comfortable. I guess I did start to force myself to stop wallowing in the misery and start reveling in the new happiness I found, both with myself and within my marriage.
Maybe you just need to do the same. Maybe you need to reject the comfort that the pain holds for you and take the risk of feeling truly happy again. It's a HUGE risk for us because once we allow ourselves to feel that way in the company of our S's, we risk everything again, but hell, life's a risk anyway so why not.
