It's funny, last night I learned more about my W and what makes her TRULY happy than the past 10 years combined. It seems SO simple now that I know but for some reason, either my stubbornness or her lack of communication, I never got the message. Now I have it loud and clear and plan to listen VERY well. It's really sad how obvious this stuff is yet somehow I failed to either notice or act on it (BTW, same goes for her too).
One other thing that occurred to me as I have been posting over the past few weeks is that most of what I am now posting about are the actual core issues of my marriage, NOT anything having to do with the affair, etc. Looking back, that is REALLY nice, and I think what we all hope to do eventually. Isn't the whole point of DB to give us the ability to move past the surface issues, mainly the affairs, and get to the real problems underlying the immediate concerns.
Her drinking, my anger, the daily stress, my travel/being gone all the time, her unhappiness at missing out on certain career opportunities, etc, etc, etc, are all things we have been talking about, working on and making progress with. That has not been the case for several years now and I just realized it.
Things ARE good right now and I mean to do everything I can to keep myself happy, contribute to her happiness and do the best I can to make my marriage one of the success stories.
