Quote: BTW, at some point you need to get back to figuring out what YOUR boundary is on this.... Personally, I would not stay with someone who would not try to get help for a debilitating condition that hurt me and my children and chose instead to engage in selfish, destructive behavior to avoid the pain.
Well, this is NOT to say it's right, but she has not really changed much since the day I met her in most of the things I talk about. Does that make me destructive to have married her, and had kids with her? Maybe. Maybe I wanted to save her, I don't know, but I do know that I am a LONG way from my boundary in terms of these things. I don't plan on living this way forever, but I do plan on living the way I am personally living, with all that i have learned over the past year, and I am willing to see if that makes a difference in our overall sitch. If not, and that is clear to me, then it's time to think about other outcomes. I KNOW I can't fix her. I am just trying to fix myself and then live the best I can. I hope she chooses to do the same and if my leading by example can help, then I will certainly do it.
As for your #1, like I said, anytime I try to present her with info like this, she puts up her wall. It's part of how our relationship has gone thus far and something that I want to change but for now it's not.
The fact about #2 is that she doesn't know and in terms of #1 & #2, that's why I want her to see a doctor and really get the facts about all this. Coming from someone else, I think it may sink in. Coming from me, it's just more of the same "anti-drinking/drugs" stuff from me she's heard a million times throughout our marriage.
