You will know things are back to normal when you get mad at your W for reasons that ANYONE would get mad about, and you don't second guess everything you did wrong in the exchange. I swear, it has taken me 2 yrs post reconciliation to finally allow myself REAL feelings and REAL ability to just get mad and not worry about what mood that might put my DH in. I truly believe I could have just done this much sooner, but I just didn't.
Just because "things" bad happened in your marriage, she just doesn't have carte blanche freedom to do these things (drinking, etc) without appropriate and understandable reaction from you.
I sound like I am rambling, but sounds like you are still on eggshells around her. this needs to stop, for your own sake and sanity. I did it for much too long, and to be honest, unnecessisarily so.
