As for my W's drinking, I am just tired of thinking about it. I know it's a problem but how big a problem I don't know. I also know that it's something she's got to get a handle on herself.
She SEEMS to be doing better but I still hear things like "I know I don't HAVE to drink, but it's somethig I choose to do. I could choose not to whenever I want..." Gee, that's not textbook or anything. To underscore that she usually quits for a couple days but then goes right back. It's surely a cycle.
Last night we talked a bit about it. She said she'd been feeling better the past few days (of which she only drank one night and that was not very much). I said I thought that MAY have something to do with the lack of drinking and she didn't disagree but still proceeded to drink last night, again, not that much. I just let it go. She was in a good mood, and I was tired.
Like I said, this is NOT something new for my W. She's been in this pattern since I met her and while that does not make it ok, it does make it something that I was WELL aware of and have been dealing with for almost a decade now. It's not likely to change today, tomorrow or the next day.
The bottom line is that, like I said in the beginning, I don't know how much of an issue her drinking really is. She doen't drink any more or less than most people I know (again, that doesn't make it right) but it's clearly something that affects her in a negative way yet she persists on doing it.
Time to shift the focus. As you said Mama, I don't dwell on it, or directly try to stop it, I am just focused on making our lives better, encouraging her to make HER life better and if that happens, history shows me that the drinking WILL be less of an issue.
