Moving Forward

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Monica,

I really don't know what I would have done either if my H wanted me to be open-minded about his OW being with s4. I think I would have asked. Well, is our country okay with infidelity and that we should be open-minded about it? OR I'm sorry, but I was not brought up to expect that a father/husband would leave his family to start another one while still being married to his first wife was okay to do.

There was a time that I sat my H down and told him similar to the following, but I will write it as if I were in your shoes right now.

H, I want to appologize for my defensiveness when you brought up the request to be openminded. It was just such a startling statment to me, that it caught me offguard. Firstly, I want you to understand that it is not about being openminded, but about values and dignity. I fully believe that what you have done and what you are doing is against God, it is against our vows and it is against everything I stand for. However, I am still your wife. And because I am still your wife, God has called me to be the best wife, mother, woman that I can be. Although this circumstance is extremely difficult, I am trying the best I can. You know that I cannot make your decisions for you, and the choices you have made are distinctly your own. I just hope that in the days to come, you will make the best choices, not just for you, but also for our son. In regards to s4 spending time with OW, I would like to see that on hold until we can be officially seperated, but ultimately, you will be the one making those choices. However, I do appreciate the time that you have given to him lately, and I hope it grows even more. A father is a very needed part of a young boys life and throughout his life. Please continue to be a strong voice in s4 life as he grows up.

I didn't really talk about the kids when I spoke to my H (well, on that conversation that is!), but the rest is very close.

I hope that your H continues to be nicer to you, and spend more time with s4. maybe xmas sparked something for him? Just remember, don't let those feeling of wanting him to greive and be remorseful cave in on you. let him be nice, and accept it as that. You want to be the better person, and you are.

I think that maybe filing the S would be good for you. It will give some type of closure, and although we are pretty sure the OW will be involved with s4, at least the breakup is somewhat legal, but still not the "end", and I think that would make you feel just slightly better.