I'm so sorry that your H is treating you and your S so badly.
I think you did the right thing re. taking him on the job. What's a 4 y/o going to do while his dad works? That's just ridiculous.
Quote: compatible." He still wants to blame me and our R for his woes. I told him I hoped he could some day remember the good times and he said he does remember them - but "things changed". He blames my parents for not caring about him enough (long story as to why he feels this way - but they did and do care about him). I told him he's looking to this Ow "to fix him" and to fullfill all his unmet needs. I'm sure I just pushed him closer to her.
The bottomline is, he's not coming back.
Monica, he is still so heavily under the influence of ow that there is no way he is ready to even consider returning to your M, RIGHT NOW. It could go on and on, to the point that you want nothing to do with him (understandable) or it could end two or three months from now. Your H is not thinking clearly. It's like trying to tell a heroin addict that the drug is just a quick fix. He is not in a place to hear you right now. Logic is not going to work right now.
Monica, I can see that you are getting more and more frustrated with your H's behaviour, and that you are tired. I really think that you need to take care of yourself. Assume he's not coming back. Personally, I think this A will end and he will realize that he's made a huge mistake. But I don't know how long that will take. It could be up to two years--that's how long the "in love" chemicals can last. In the meantime, you are exhausting yourself.
Like ST, I don't know the laws in CA, so don't know if it is better for you to be D'd. Can you get a Separation? This could help you with money. If you do it for visitation reasons, I don't think it will help. He will either ignore the court order, or take S4 when he has to and possibly leave him with ow.
Please think of yourself right now. You first, then S4. You can't take care of him unless you care for you.
I'm still praying for you, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
