Moving Forward

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I am so so sorry to hear about your S4's saddness. That never happened with me, for one, my s8 didn't have his daddy around until he was 4 (lived in another state with his mother while I lived with mine... ya, really stupid) then our youngest is 2, so really too young to get what was going on. Although there was one time he took both of our hands and took us outside, almost like he wanted us to get together, it was sooooo weird!

Anyways, I want to ask if you talk about H in front of S4.. does he hear you being upset or sad about H ever? If so, really try to limit that because with him being so young, he just won't understand and it will make him more upset if he sees it in you. I know it is hard.. I broke down in front of my s8 3-4 times.

Maybe don't tell s4 when H is suppose to come, since half the time your not sure if he'll call to cancel or actually show. That way you don't have to disappoint him.

Maybe have your s4 draw some pictures for him (can you mail them?)

And just remember, that your H is not himself, therefore, he is not going to treat everyone with the respect they deserve, even his only child. Especially when he wasn't shown by example how to be a "good" dad. Maybe part of him thinks he's just going to fail, so why bother trying, or that he is scared to fail so if he doesn't try, he can't fail. I say this because of the R he had with his dad. Wasn't he never good enough for his dad? I think I remember you saying that.

Again, I'm sorry for you and your s4. I could not imagine going through what you have for a whole year. You have been very strong thru this...and it is okay to break down, we are human, but Jesus will pick you back up. Just focus on Him.

We all love you, have a good time this weekend at the beach and try to give your s4 as much quality time with you as possible.. you are the true love of his life right now