Moving Forward

[MonicaP]

Stilltryin,
Thanks for the good advice.
I would be thrilled if H came to me for help BUT I would not give it to him. I agree that he needs to learn how to make his own decisions and face the consequences. The best I can do is support his R w/ S4. I want that for S4 more than anything, he adores his daddy. If S4 is the only anchor for H than I want to support their ongoing R. I definitely agree that H needs to hit rock bottom before he will even be able to see the TRUTH of his actions. But I'm really not convinced that he would turn to me, I think he has convinced himself that I changed so dramatically from the point we got married - he doesn't love me anymore. It's hard to accept.

MIL called me this morning to check in. She doesn't speak English and I only speak her language at an intermediate level, so it's a challenge. But I was able to get across to her my worry about H and that I was/am sad that it has all come to this. She suggests I shouldn't be jealous of Ow regarding my S4 meeting her because I am S4's mother and that will never change. Still, I resent H for bringing Ow into S4's life without my consent, he just doesn't get it.

Today was a good day. Met with some friends at a local park with our kids to play and picnic. Took S4 shopping for rain coat and boots. Ran into another friend downtown and then had another friend with her D5 over for dinner. Phew, it was a busy one, but fun.

S4 has been acting out and expressing his feelings about missing daddy a lot lately. It's hard for me to hear.

H said he deposited $ into my account and it's still not showing up Yet he's supposed to be over tomorrow - I wonder what his excuse will be this time. I really need a day to myself, I pray he shows. And I think S4 would be crushed if I had to tell him daddy can't make it. This is so hard sometimes.

I do rely on God to walk me through this.

Thanks for your support.