hugs and thoughts and prayers your way...what an idiot for your H to walk around town with OW and s4...shows how clueless he is about other's perceptions of his behavior. Your behavior and appearance will eventually contrast enough with OW's for your H to notice, when he is in his next phase or returns to who he really is. Meantime you know what you gotta do, GAL, love yourself and love s4 as much as possiblle with gratitude/attitude. I know it's a cliche, but honestly something that really helped me was hearing this Rwondan woman talk about forgiving her neighbors for hacking her family to death, since they were from a different tribe--and how her faith got her thru it, etc. -It gave me perspective big time--we are lucky to be free, no one shooting at us, denying us the right to vote or walk around without male chaperones, we are healthy and have food, and we have children who are healthy and loving....in the grand scheme of things, we are doing quite well.
Sorry if that sounds like a platitude, but it did help me in my darkest hours. BTW, things at this end are looking up either way. I have detached a great deal and don't know if that is a coincidence or not BUT H is saying and doing things I've needed him to say and do, for a long time. We are re-connecting and I don't know where it'll all go b/c of what I want now--H wants back in the M under unknown conditions and I am trying to stay open minded and open hearted...as I said, either way I am at peace I THINK.....at least I have no more terror of being alone or without H....I will be alright with or without him and I now know that in a way I did not know before...it helps me a lot. And H has many regrets about what he has missed, or may end up missing forever. Sometimes I wonder how such a smart educated man can be so flippin' stupid....
I'm visiting him this week with d9 so won't get back to you until later but wanted you to know that it is still not hopeless anyhow. I have seen 2 divorces end up reconciling in my own family==my aunt Rita and her h divorced when I was little, don't know why, they had 3 kids. 5 years later at some family function they talked, had dinner and uncle asked her if she was happier single and she said no, they remarried and then, 6 years later when he died of cancer, she was at his side.....My cousin K- and his wife divorced when their son was about 5. I don't know all the reasons since I was little but I know they both do not drink now. They remained civil througout the time, and stayed in some contact due to their son. Then 8 (yes, eight) years later they reconnected and remarried and that was 12 years ago....so who knows?
keep on keeping on, one foot in front of the other and remember, you are not alone= j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
