Moving Forward

[MonicaP]

Thanks Maf,

It sounds like we are in the same boat with our kids and with H's living in La-La Land. My H is in complete denial and still trying to blame me and the rest of the world for his problems. I think the more I detach the less he'll be able to find (new) reasons to blame me. I talked to my therapist today and she wonders if H is on drugs now. It's hard for me to fathom because it would be completely out of character, but then again all of his behavior is out of character. I wonder about absinthe since it is associated with the whole Goth subculture which H is totally into now. One thing is for sure, he is no better off (and in every way worse off) than he was this time last year when we first separated. I mean, shouldn't he be doing better now that he's rid of me? He's got Ow, he has freedom, he gets to see S4 whenever it's convenient for him (although I believe he honestly misses S4), isn't this what he wanted? Instead he's sick all of the time - or at least sick enough to lie to get out of being responsible - he's got financial troubles, lives in a tiny dark place (with her?), looks like hell, doesn't eat well, etc.

In contrast, I got a new (great job) and have S4 in awesome preschool nearby, I moved into a nice and bright apt., I'm getting my finances in order (through bankruptcy, but at least I'm doing something to move forward), I spend quality time w. S4, have a lot of friends, see a therapist, have this BB, etc.

I don't think H is anywhere closer to waking up to this major identity crisis he's in - it's sad.

So, I'm moving forward...

Keep in touch!