You know, I feel like I was more able to show compassion months ago when H still seemed ambivalent and confused. I did feel sorry for him and the inner hell that he seemed to be experiencing. I could look at it somehow more objectively. But in the last few months his behavior has deteriorated more and he seems to find ways to blame me for EVERYTHING. He's unreliable with money and with S4. He lies and makes excuses for not coming to visit S4.
I am at the end of my rope with him, I feel so hurt and betrayed.
The best I can do now is remain civil, communicate directly, and have restraint when I really want to go off on him. Also, I have to be careful of what S4 hears me say about H.
I have taken responsibility for my part in our marital problems, there's not much else I can say. Right now he just can't remember any of the good times. Anyway, I told him recently that (ideally) I want him to break it off w/ Ow and give 100% to saving our marriage. He told me that even if he wasn't with Ow he still wouldn't want to get back together with me. Ouch! That hurt. And why does he say that? He seems to want me to think that Ow has nothing to do with our break up. Ha!
Well, I am about to fall asleep...
Take care
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers