I would agree with ktf do whatever you can legally especially if it concerns the welfare of S4. I am sure that H will be angry but he has forced you to do this. Trust me he sees what his actions have caused, but does it stop him from doing what he is doing? Of course not so you do what you have to do. The reality is even though we are 50% responsible for producing children our H and the world expects more from us as mothers. Look how easy it was for H to walk out on S4. Would you? Of course not.
S3 and have gone a week at a time on a number of occasions without elelctricity or water. What does H do? He'll stay as late as usual but then he goes where he lives in comfort to Ow because she makes sure that all of her bills are paid. In fact in a letter she wrote to H she even mentioned that he never helps with any of her bills. If I were able to pay mine on my own trust me I would. But why should I let him renege on his responsibility.
At least you have some legal recourse
ktf
It used to bother me him going to Ow everynight but why? Does he feel any remorse or stop what he is doing? No. So I feel by not letting it get to me that that is my ability to detach. He is.
Under the circumstances why does Ow put up with H? "She loves him and he loves her and he has left me for her. And considering this I am stupid not to give him a D since he does not want me." So, as far as Ow is concerned she has the upperhand. Ow also says that H has shown her that he wants to be with her so she is willing to wait it out. Because whenever she "ends it", H begs her to take him back until she acquiesces. I wonder what makes her think that he will be faithful to her? He was intimate with me for two years after he moved out to be with her?
She says she will wait, but she wants to get married again and have children and trust me my not giving him a D is a huge hindrance to that (she will be 36 month end). So let's see if she really is willing to wait the requisite 5 years (if H has to file).
The ironic thing is that I know that if she were not in the picture H would be home. A friend was the Ow in a 7-year affair, she says to me. Hang in there if you can. It will end. They all end and she will regret sullying her name for this relationship especially if she is not the sort who would have ever gone out with a married man.
My friend feels like this now but she thought that she would have been married to her guy who is now back with his wife who stopped her divorce proceedings against him.
So I say to everyone, hang in there as long as you feasible cann if your marriage and family are worth it to.
As my best friend said to another friend (and she never makes these kinds of statements)...
"God would not make your soulmate someone who has is unavailable" eg someone who has made marital vows to someone already.
