I know that when H first moved out and he would have S3 by his place she would be there. I also fournd out that before he moved out a few times when he took S3 out she met him. But at the time S3 was 13-19months old and could not abide strangers. I'm sure that he does not remember her and certainly would not like her. Typical dressed to the nines drives SUV where designer jewellery and is all about apperances. But a couple of times I have driven by the new house and he always wants to stop to his daddy so it is obvious that he has had him there more than once but I doubt it is when she is around because S3 tells his mama everything (and I ahve put my foot down about him NOt having him around her and the first time that I know for sure it will be hell to pay.) I have heard she is upset that he won't bring S3 around her and let the three of them go out together WTF?!?!? She not only wnat s my H she wants my S3. Go have your own?!?!? Again it would all be show for H.
She told someone that H wants to have another child desperately but she is not going to under the circumstances?!?!? But, that may all be talk on her part. Her sister has said that she and her husband tried for years and nothing happened so if she is the problem, my H is barking up the wrong tree. I was 38 when I got pregnant and had no trouble at all. And he always asks me if I am ready to give S3 a sister. We said we would have another when we had S3.
I guess I am DBing but because of where I live I have not beeen able to get the book as yet. I am dying to get it. In fact when I mentioned to my insurance agent the problems H and I were having she recommended DR. I was shocked and pleased to say the least that someone here not only had heard about it but had tried it and it worked for her.
But I guess I do follow the princples from what I get from the bb... no snooping (that is HARD!!!) and I still do it sometimes; no talking about Ow; no pursuing; GAL (I need to do major work on this); no R talks unless he brings it up; mystery and detaching... but like everyone here my DB skills are a work in progress. I think that once I get and read the book I will probably be a better study.
MP
No, my H has never really asked for a D. I always bring it up in a roundabout way. If I bring it up he'll say "don't you think its best yada yada" or "we need to do it because we are fooling ourselves..." or if I say I am tired or unhappy with our situation he'll say "well why don't you do something about it"... Once I presurred him into saying yes I want a D and then replied to him over my dead body...the Ow will forever *&*^( my H.
He has said on tow occasions that when he gets momey that he was going to file. The last time being about a week ago and then proceeds to spend the night at my place for the next three nights. He saw a lawyer (hers) two years ago who apparently told him he needed counselling not a divorce. He also saw our lawyer who told him the same. But he seems to want me to file. In fact the Ow supposedly has "consented" to me naming her WTF?!?!?! Here, divorce grounds are very specific and have to be proven. He has no grounds to file on. The only grounds that he has is separation (and the minimum time for that is 5 years). But even if you are physically not living in the same house if you are still intimate the time period is negated. We have not been intimate for 7 weeks now the longest time since this has happened and he has not tried anything so he must have figured out something. So...
The Ow is really presuring him to file. She keeps saying that I am stupid to hold on to a man who has left me. But she is still holding on and fighting and she has no rights to him. I do?!?!??! Typical Ow syndrome. She put H out last week for 10 days (toook her keys and all) and gave him an ultimatum to file or it was over. But after a week at my place he was back there again...
He wants me to file in order to minimize his guilt... I am not going to give him that satisfaction. First off I know that he will screw me and my son financially (he works for himself so does not get regular paychecks) so I can't prove any income to the courts. As it is he does support us now I think mostly for appearnces because most people do not realize our situation (including my houskeeper who is in our house daily!?!?!). He says he is unhappy and does not love me anymore but whenever I put my foot down about him coming around all the time and calling etc he steps up his time at my place. (but then says that he is only there because of his son!?!?)
I have told him that if he signs the house over to my name only I will give him a D. He says no. I have to buy him out? Why? this is the roof over your sons head? I have paid the mortgage on my own from day one. I have no money to buy H out since I am stuck paying all of OUR debt. Ow has her own house that H already lives in so when you marry her she can had H's name to her property.
Trust me after what H has done to me to be with her Ow will never trust that. But... Ow has siad that he needs NOT to give up his share in the house. The nerve of her. That is why she will wait 5 years or NEVER if she thinks I am going to D him for her to show him off as hers. Let her ruin her name and reputation being known as the Ow who stole MAF's husband.
People are nice to your face but they denigrate you behind your back, epecially when children are involved.
