I agree that your S4 shouldn't be around Ow right now. My C says that until we are divorced that none of our kids should be around Ow. Unfornately he has brought her around his other 2 kids ( my step-kids sd16, ss14 ). I think he is sending the wrong message to them - that is is okay to have Ow when you are still M! They are both old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.
My H attempted to have our d7 meet Ow once, but it never happened b/c d called me wanting to come home so I went and picked her up. I didn't know until she got home why she wanted to come home. She later told me that daddy wanted her to meet his friend! This is when we started with the counceling. C has told both of us that until we are divorced that it is wrong to bring other people around the kids. H does what he wants to do so I doubt that he will continue to listen to what the C has to say for much longer. It makes me sick to think of Ow around our d!!!
Someone who would get involved with M man with children lacks character and obviously doesn't care that she helped to destroy a family. I agree that this type of woman shouldn't be anywhere near our kids. WAS will get very angry when you insult the character of Ow. They will defend her and say you are crazy. Yes, they are blaming us for everything to justify what they are doing.
Your H is feeling guilty and this is why he emailed you. They will say hurtful things. Just remember that yes you may not have been perfect, but neither were they! I told my H how much I think he has changed b/c the man I M would never have done or said the things he has. I asked him what happened to his morals and values that he used to have? He replyed that he still had all of his morals and values and he resented me for insulting his integrity! He said that I don't even know him and never did! He also said that when his father died he realized that I had never been there for him. Ugh! So yes they say lots of stuff to hurt you b/c they are hurting and need to blame someone else. They know having an A is wrong, but the Ow makes them feel good so they go with it . They are self-absorbed right now and can't think past their needs and feelings.
In spite of everything I told H 2 weeks ago that my door was always opened if he ever needed anything. I'm I pathetic or what! But now I am going completely dark unless I have to talk to him about d7. Be kind to your H , but act indifferent and busy whenever you see him. GAL, GAL, GAL.... I am starting to think of it as this- how would I act towards H if (and this is only an if) I had Om in my life. I would be focused on Om not my H. This way of thinking helps me b/c I think H will get the impression that he is no longer the focus of my life and maybe he will begin to feel like he has lost me???
