Wow, our sitch's sound a lot alike! I totally feel your pain too. I never saw it coming either and some of my family/friends think I am being too "good" to my H as well. That's why I always feel so comfortable here, we all know what it's like to want to save our M's and not to just throw it away so easily.
For the past year (this Oct/Nov) I have learned soooo much about myself because I have done the footwork. I can't say the same for my H who still seems depressed and lost. I can't quite understand - isn't he supposed to be happier now that he's not with me and he's with Ow? I mean, isn't that what he wanted! But I don't see him happy or healthy.
What keeps me going - to be quite honest - is my S4. If it weren't for him I think I surely would have given up by now. I feel I have to do everything in my power to save my M so that one day - if necessary - I can tell him what I did. I think of my S4 in every interaction I have with H (or most interactions) so I can maintain composure.
But my therapist is now helping me to deal with my anger. I still can't access it very well and tend to make justifications for my H's behavior. I know I need to work this through before I can truly move forward.
I have no clue how this will all wind up. I pray for my H a lot (I use a book called "Power of the PRaying Wife" by Stormie O'Martian). I'm not religious, but the book is based on Christianity. To me, everything spiritual helps.
I pray for your sitch and keep in touch!
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers
