It is really tough to answer how you restrain from questioning.I still deal with this now myself.The reason i came back here to the boards was because finding my H had went to reunion.com and searched for an Xgf.I thought,oh no here we go again.I did question him about it,he said it was only curiosity and it meant nothing.He knows it was stupid.I still wonder why he would search for an ex-girlfriend from 20 yrs ago.I start thinking all kinds of things,is he MLC? Etc.He is done with his reasons and i decided i won't ask him nothing more.Why?Because i can no longer be the scared girl always wondering what he is up to.He told me it was nothing and i have to accept that until i find otherwise.I honestly think that i have stayed here,on the boards, though because it helps me by reading other posts and how they respond to the issues they deal with.Men are different,they want to forget and move on.We,tend to try to decipher and figure out why. This is why affairs are so horrible,there is always the trust issue.You have to live your life and try to not worry about it though.We stay and work on our M because we love them and we hate to see our family torn apart.It is a day by day solution.We set up our boundries in our R,what we tolerate.I always said i would leave my H if he ever had an A.That was my set of rules.My C helped me by saying that we can change our rules,our boundries.So i changed mine.Why that worked,i really don't know,but it did.Kindof sounds wierd,one sentence can change the way you look at things.Marriage is not easy,it does take some work.Hope this helps some.K
