My H definately piecing but me...

[cat03]

complete forgiveness is to never bring it up again, to be able to calmy defeat those demons that bring memories from the affair. Maybe it was an ignorant way to do it, but I fought with EVERY memory I had about my H's affair, I confronted them and killed each one untill they no longer stabbed me the way the did. It was NOT each by any means, I hurt each time, but in the end that slime slides right off me now.

You know you have forgiven him if you dont' jab him with A related comments when mad or arguing, when you dont' hold it against him, when you accept that it is in the past and that he had (excuse me) sh*t for brains when in the A.

You can't help your H to forgive himself other than showing him (by not recalling the A) that you've forgiving him. He has to work that out by himself, time is a great healer, and if anything, when he recalls it, it will be a reminder of what NOT to do. I still think it's a lame excuse, but my H told me he didn't get rid of all the letters/picts of OW that I found (which I made him burn) because if he ever wanted to do something stupid again that woudl be a reminder.

As for rings, I also thought like you for a while, that I was wearing a symbol of something my H doens't stand for ...just yet. I took them off for a while, and my H noticed it, so it does mean something for him, so I put them back on, it's a symbol that Im a married woman and that I'm taken, that Im his and that I love him. Those rings were given to me with love, and that's the memory i attach to them.

If they bring up bad memories fo ryou, you have the right not to wear them, I think rings bring up different emotions to each of us.