Thank you for the encouragement it is greatly appreciated. My H is so lost it just hurts my heart. My H and I have always been best friends and told each other everything and now all of sudden all he can do is yell obscenities at me. He's trying to blame everything on me and I know in my heart I didn't make the choice for him to do drugs and then refuse to do a drug test. He mocks my calmness when I talk to him and says F U. I guess because he's hurting so much inside he has to take it out on someone. It's so hard to think before you speak and be calm in such a situation but I think one of things God is trying to teach me is self-control and I'm starting to master it. I did my 180 and I think my husband is still testing me and still thinks I'm going to crack and freak out one of these times so he can say once again "that's why I can't be with you...we can't even get along."
Truely, even in my venting, I am really concentrating on my walk with God...I know ultimately that's the only thing that matters. As for my son, he is an angel baby, he deserves at least one parent who's fully intact and responsible. God has brought me this far and I have Faith he will walk me through this trial until its completion and the rest of my life. That feeling in itself is amazing.
