There's a really mysterious alchemy that takes place when you forgive yourself. Even when someone else seems to be CLEARLY the source of a problem, there is a nagging, shaming voice inside US that says, "You ought to be able to do something about this one way or another!" And I think we need to forgive ourselves over and over for "not doing something about it" or not "succeeding" or even sticking around and taking it--- or just all the ways we reproach and shame ourselves over so many things. That is a pain we inflict on ourselves that our partner has nothing to do with-- and it is something we can stop doing to ourselves even if our partner never changes.
