Absolutely no offense taken. I know it seems like banging one's head against a brick wall to insist someone get treatement for what mostly seems like manipulative, bad behavior. In fact, it may be, just that. That is why I suggest only dealing with the ADD as a "fact of life" until otherwise convinced of other problems. I will say, that if it turns out that Mrs. Cobra is simply enjoying having a label for poor behavior then a really good diagnostician will see that. If, indeed, she "can't help it" to some extent then it is helpful to know that. FWIW - I DO think she has some serious issues and I DO think that she can do better but she chooses not to by hiding behind some half thought out "names" for the things she does.
Anyway, Bf, your comments were very understandable and I don't take offense at all. My ex-H very much enjoyed the "sick" role and still does - having a label just seems to give some folks license to behave as badly as possible.
It is important that Cobra stick to his role in things - supportive not co-dependent, husband not parent, co-parent not glorified babysitter. These distinctions are important to maintain. I'll bet Mrs. Cobra is petrified that Cobra really find out just what the h*ll is going on with her. It is easier to keep acting out and hiding behind a lot of psychobabble bull crap.
