Yes - your post had the basic spirit of what I was saying. I won't nitpick the parts that aren't quite what I was saying. It IS important to get a proper diagnosis simply because OCD and PTSD are serious, debilitating disorders which, if she has, she hasn't scratched the surface of dealing with. It is your problem too merely because you live with her and share children with her. It ISN'T your problem to babysit her treatment except that nothing that you have described remotely matches proper treatment. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is also a serious disorder which requires medication. It can be quite severe. It is similar to OCD because of the serious anxiety involved. However, there are significant differences. A personality disorder is extremely serious and is what Mrs. VBube is dealing with. The manipulative nature of Mrs. Cobra (B!tch disorder as HP said) can be tip off to personality disorder. Ignoring the significance of such a diagnosis and its treatment won't help. Although to HP's point, if it has only been offhand diagnosis or self diagnosis, I would only allow discussion/excuse/conversation vis a vie the ADD. However, treatment of ADD involves HER implementing lots of coping skills - list making, imposing more structure (i.e. "every night I spend 15 minutes picking up the area I tend to pile things in). "Gosh honey, I know it is difficult to keep your things picked up with the ADD and all. What coping skills are you using to deal better with it?"
I guess in terms of getting her some better help you might couch it in these terms. "Sweetie, I've been doing some reading about OCD and PTSD and I'm really confused. You don't seem to be getting any of the suggested treatment. I'm worried about your health and safety. I heard about this Dr., Dr. X, how about we go see him/her for my peace of mind?"
I am not trying to belittle anyone here but this is a serious thing Cobra and the more that she hides behind half-azzed diagnosis and half-azzed treatment the further behind she gets. The more that you accept that half-azzed diagnosis and treatment, the further behind you get.
I am very pleased that you are seriously considering what I am saying whether or not you are ever able to get her to consider the issue. At least read up on the disorders through the DSM-IV, it also lists the recommended treatment. Also, look up Borderline, Narcissistic and Dependent personality Disorders and see what you think. This suggestion is not meant for you to now try to diagnose her but just to see what seems true and then to look at suggested treatment so you are at least informed.
