OCD is not something I know much about. Our C seems to be familiar with it since she claims to have a severe case of it. I do not know enough to judge. I don’t see W obsessing other the placement of things, or counting or something like that. Where I some OCD or something like it is in her obsession with the kids and fears that they might get hurt or die. Obviously this is FOO related.
I also recall that she mentioned long ago that one of her therapists said she had signs of post traumatic stress disorder. I assumed this was from the shock of her mother’s death. She scares easily and when she does she jumps with her whole body, arms go flailing, not in a fist or a punch, but in what seems to be a physically defensive reaction. She unconsciously locks doors behind her even in the middle of the day, on the weekend with everyone home and kids going in and out. While she like to put forth this tough, independent image, I have been surprised in the past that she was afraid to sleep in the house alone if I was out of town with the kids. (I think having our new puppy helped her when we were in Hawaii a few weeks ago.) I’m not sure what else she has to justify a PTSD claim.
So yeah, I think she lives with a certain level of fear and always has since childhood. I think that is part of why she does into battle mode so easily. Everything is about life or death – no middle ground. She has told the C that she HAS to do these things because no one else (me) will do them. Neither the C nor I see the need for her to maintain such control over the kids. The C is trying to tell her that this is actually harming the kids and increasing the probability for them to be harmed because they do not get the chance to learn about consequences.
I have thought this was due to W’s refusal to address her FOO issues and fears. She claims that she has, but if the OCD is overpowering, even understanding those fears cannot prevent her from continually feeling them, as you say. Maybe this has more to do with the source of her problems and the problems in our family. I have a book on OCD but have not read it yet. I’ll try to get to it.
